Almost is Never Enough
by ScarletOHarra
Summary: a letter shakes Elsie's walls, making her think of how her life with Charles really is.


**Almost is never enough**

**First story, I'd really appreciate reviews :) **

**I suggest that you read it with the song 'Almost is never enough' by Ariana Grande in the background. It's sort of a songfic, I guess. I hope its not too bad.**

It's an ordinary day, an ordinary afternoon. There are no parties to be held, guests to arrive or dinner to be served. The family is up in London for two days. Lady Rosamund is having a birthday party and the family thought everybody should be present.

It is a quiet day for the staff as well, '_too quiet actually'_ she thought. She usually takes this time to catch up on correspondence she barely gave attention when the family is present.

Sitting at her desk, she just received a letter from her sister. Marge is getting married.

It's good news really. It is. _It really is_. She's happy for her sister. Yet, the stomach drop she felt tells her otherwise. It took her a moment to let out a sigh she didn't knew she was holding.

She doesn't know how long she stared at the letter when she got up. Getting out of her pantry, _I need air_ is the only coherent thought she had.

Passing through the servant's hall, she overhears his instructions on the proper way of polishing the silver. 'You shall not forget the polishing gloves'. That's him. Besides from the way he said it, It was his voice, his deep rumble which strikes with authority and control. It usually sends up a shiver down her spine, but not now.

He glanced at her passing form just on time to get a glimpse of her pale face and teary eyes. They look at each other. Just a second, or perhaps even shorter than that. But he saw it, she knows he did. She bowed her head and hurried out of the hall and past the kitchen.

_I'd like to say we gave it a try  
I'd like to blame it all on life  
Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie_

He saw it. But why he couldn't understand. Wasn't she just happy a few moments ago to tell him that she's taking the time to read a few letters. It couldn't have been bad news isn't it?

He came after her after a few moments giving 'other matters' as his excuse. Through the exit, he found her sitting on one of barrels outside looking through the grounds. He approached her meekly. But she heard and turned to look a him.

"Hello Mr. Carson. Aren't you busy with the silver?" he caught the touch of bitterness that hung after the question.

"Not too busy Mrs. Hughes. Are you alright? Is everything okay… with the letters?" He hesitated.

"Nothing's the matter. Just good news actually." The statement was flat. No hint of happiness.

"Oh? Would you mind me asking?" He doesn't want to pry but whatever's got her in such a state doesn't seem a good news to him.

"Marge is getting married." She said quickly. Trying to avoid the sore topic, It should be less painful if she just got it out fast.

_And we can deny it as much as we want  
But in time our feelings will show  
'Cause sooner or later  
We'll wonder why we gave up_

_The truth is everyone knows_ The silence hung longer than expected. There's a reason she avoided this conversation. The tension was building. She didn't mean to say it sharp as it sounded. But it was, she can see it though his eyes. It cut through deep as his reaction shift from curiuos to hurt.

"Next month." She just needed to break through the silence. It was growing deep.

He struggled for the words, but manages an "Ah.." as a response.

"It should be a celebration for your family." He added a few seconds later.

She looked into his eyes, testing the waters. She won't say anything he won't ask for. He knows he doesn't need to feel guilty. She's not blaming him. She touches his arm reassuring him they're fine. He looks up at her. They share a moment. That's all they need.

"We better go back before they burn the house down." She tries to smile.

"Of course." He replies.

_It's not your fault. We were.. almost. Almost is more than I can ask for. _She thought as they walked back quietly.

_Elsie, I really would if we could. We almost did. But almost is never enough is it?_ He tells himself, as he close the door once they're back inside.

_Almost, almost is never enough  
So close to being in love  
If I would have known that you wanted me  
The way I wanted you  
Then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart  
But right here in each other's arms  
And we almost, we almost knew what love was  
But almost is never enough I'd like to say we gave it a try  
I'd like to blame it all on life  
Maybe we just weren't right, but that's a lie, that's a lie_


End file.
